It’s a fact. Not all dogs like to be patted. Those that do don’t always like to be patted on the head. Dogs have preferences as to where and how they like to be touched. They also have preferences of who they like to be touched by. Just because they love a chest scratch from their care giver, doesn’t mean they want the same from a stranger. Even in the same household a dog may enjoy a particular interaction from one member of the family, but not from a different member. The good news is that it’s easy to ask a dog if they like the way they are being touched. It simply requires some knowledge about dog communication and body language.
 
I’ve made a video to demonstrate a simple way to ask your dog how he/she likes to be patted. It’s as simple as starting to pat your dog and then stopping and noting the response.​ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU4TKzBOzw4

Another common theme is that people are sure that their dog likes being hugged. I sometimes ask them to show me - because some dogs don't mind at all. The majority don't actually enjoy the interaction. Once the "no" signals have been discussed, it's amazing how many of these signs are recognized. Before the hug begins, many little dogs are almost chased down and picked up while they are trying to avoid the impending interaction. If you bend down and your little dog moves away, they probably don't like being picked up much, let alone hugged. Many dogs tolerate our hugs but don't actually enjoy them. Some dogs don't mind a hug from their special people, but don't want the same affection from others.

Here’s a quick summary of how dogs say “yes” or “no”. Sometimes they say “maybe”. I suspect they are conflicted at times because they want our attention but don’t like the type of attention they are getting. It’s the classic walk away and then come back and then walk away routine. I've heard many times, "Well if he didn't like it, why does he keep coming back?" Once we change our approach, a “maybe” can soon become a “yes”. Be aware that all dog body language needs to be observed with consideration of the context within which it occurs, the rest of the dog’s body language (not just one part of the dog)  and the individual dog involved. Just like people, different dogs have little idiosyncrasies and styles of communicating.

Body language that says “Yes”:

• Moving into your space, coming to you for physical contact
• Nudging a head into your hand or lap
• Pawing your hand, trying to move it closer
• Leaning into you
• Lying down near you, touching you or flopping onto you
• Face, mouth and eyes are relaxed, even droopy

 
Body language that says “No”:

• Moving away from you, especially if they don’t return or leave the area - This is so important to take notice of. If a dog does not come to you, do not go to the dog and invade the dog's space, especially if you do not know the dog. Do not put dogs in situations where they cannot move away or escape from a patting interaction you think is pleasant but they don't appreciate
• Leaning away from you.
• Turning the head away
• Looking away from you with the eyes
• Shying away or ducking the head away from your hand
• Rolling the eyes away to show the whites of the eye (whale eye)
• Yawning
• Licking the lips
• Freezing (a tense stillness as opposed to a relaxed stillness)

If you miss the more subtle "no", communication may escalate to become more obvious and effective. Dogs who really find patting aversive (i.e. hate it and can't wait to escape) may learn to skip the subtle requests if history has shown that no-one ever listens.

• Growling
• Snapping
• Biting

 Body language that could mean “Yes” or “No”:

• Licking your face or hands. This can be asking for space or for you to stop. It is a common appeasement signal. Appeasement behaviours function to reduce or get rid of some part of the interaction which they do not like without using overt aggression. It can also be a sign of affection from a very mouthy, licky dog.
• Rolling over. If the dog is tense, lips are drawn back and tense, this means "no". It is another appeasement behaviour. If the dog is floppy and the eyes are soft or closed, this means “rub mah belly”. Refer to the pictures below.

 Rub Mah Belly Roll Over:
*  Mouth relaxed (floppy gums dropping with gravity, exposing teeth)
*  ​Front legs floppy and relaxed
*  Back legs relaxed, flopping wide open with gravity
*  Skin around eyes soft, not taut
*  Body relaxed, stretched out fully, lying fully on back
​

• Paw raised. If the dog is tense and the body is leaning away, it means “no”. If the dog is leaning towards you and body is relaxed, it can be “yes” or "maybe".
• Walking away. Some dogs will walk away and come back. They may want attention from you, but not the sort you are giving. If you change what you are doing, they may stay.
• Mouthing the hand. This may mean “no” if it occurs whilst you are petting and stops when you stop. Some dogs show affection by mouthing, so they may gently mouth your hand as you pat them. If it occurs when you stop petting, it could be a mouthy dog requesting for you to continue. In the video, Turbo mouths when the patting stops to get it to start again. He stops mouthing when the person is patting him. When it happens it very important. Does the dog mouth to stop you, or to get you to start again?
• Being motionless. If the dog is relaxed and motionless they may be enjoying the pat. They may lean ever so slightly into your touch, with all the other signs of enjoyment (soft eyes, ears, mouth). If they have “frozen” and are tense or rigid under your touch, almost resisting relaxation or holding their breath, they are probably not enjoying the patting and are waiting for it to stop. You can often feel a pounding heart under the chest of a dog who is very still but not enjoying the contact.
• Lots of wiggling. Some dogs are happy, wiggly, bouncy balls of exuberance who can’t stop moving when they are enjoying an activity. Others are nervous, uncomfortable wigglers who are torn between wanting some attention from you but not liking where or how they are being touched.

 
I'm encouraged by the comments I’ve read on social media. Many people notice a difference in the way their dog approaches, stays and responds to them when they take the time to observe, ask the dog and accommodate what he/she enjoys.
 
Have a try. Ask your dog and let me know the answer.
 
Want to practice more observations skills? Read this other great blog and video on the same topic:
 
http://eileenanddogs.com/2012/08/29/does-your-dog-really-want-to-be-petted/

Here are some great resources which Eileenanddogs.com recommends in her blog. She is spot on with her recommendations, so with her permission, I've included them just as she has recommended. You can never get enough of the good stuff.​ Go check out her blog.

Recommended Resources:

"Doggonesafe.com: How to Love Your Dog –  Believe it or Not. This little gem describes ways to ask the dog’s consent, encourages getting to know one’s dog’s language, and suggests ways that humans and dogs can be physically close to each other without intimidating or “over-touching” the dog. The whole website has great stuff about learning to read dogs and keeping kids safe around them.

Dogs Like Kids They Feel Safe With. This is a wonderful movie about teaching dogs with a clicker and teaching children with TAGteach with the goal of comfortable and safe interaction between the two. Children who are fearful and and children who tend to overdo with animals are both included. The children are taught about asking the adult handler’s and the dog’s consent.

Dr. Sophia Yin has a wealth of information on dog body language, polite greeting behavior (from humans), and low stress handling. Here is a page with a load of information. Free Downloads: Posters, Handouts, and More.

Family Paws is another great site that focuses on safe interactions between dogs and their human family members, with special emphasis on education for expecting families and families with infants. Here is founder Jennifer Shryock doing a great analysis of a now infamous human/dog petting session gone wrong, with nice explanations of the mismatch between dog and human communication and expectations.

Observation Skills for Training Dogs. That great FaceBook group I have mentioned before."

© Sonya Bevan
Dogcharming.com.au

Thank you to Eileen Anderson for sharing her blog and resource recommendations, Steph Walker for her pictures of Reggie and Bodel Mitchell for sharing Zoe with me.

Turbo the greyhound came to stay as a foster dog. One of the first tasks was to introduce him to Zuri. As far as introductions go, dogs are a lot like people. They each have individual communication styles and personal preferences about which dogs they wish to spend time with and those they’d rather pass on by.

First impressions can have long lasting effects, so taking the time to plan the first meeting is a high priority. If an initial meeting goes badly it can take a lot of effort to reverse the detrimental psychological effects, let alone repair any physical injuries.

Here are some suggested guidelines:

1. Have one handler per dog.
2. Meet in a neutral environment first, not one of the dog’s homes.
3. Choose larger areas, not confined spaces.
4. Allow ample time, don’t rush or force introductions. Let the dogs got at their own pace and allow an avenue of escape or retreat.
5. Let each dog investigate the environment first for an extended period, away from each other, before bringing them into contact.
6. Introduce relaxed dogs, not highly aroused dogs.
7. Use loose leads rather than tight unless required for safety and to remove dogs from each other.
8. Intervene only if required and distract quickly if needed.
9. If in doubt: DON’T introduce. If you have no idea how either dog will react but fear one may bite or attack, don’t introduce them or seek professional assistance. If you really don’t think they will get on, ask yourself, “Why am I introducing them in the first place?”

Please note that the guidelines suggested are exactly that: guide-lines. With more experience and a history of the two dogs, one has a better chance of predicting if two dogs will be fine to greet on their first meeting. If there is any doubt, however, you will need some sort of backup plan such as leads to allow safe separation of the dogs should things go pear-shaped. Ideally, seek the help of a behaviour professional if you are unsure or nervous.

Avoid advice which refers to dogs as having dominant personalities to explain behaviour and encourages using aversive stimuli/punishment to introduce dogs (eg. choker collars, shock collars, leash jerks, yelling). Dominance is not a personality trait and has no practical application when dealing with introducing dogs safely. Furthermore, most aggression in dogs is driven by a desire to escape (which is prevented when on lead) or a desire to remove a source of fear by scaring it away. Having on-lead meetings with short, tense leads and anxious handlers tugging and yelling can actually create conflict that might not have otherwise occurred. I only recommend muzzles if the dog wearing the muzzle is already accustomed to and happy to wear one. If not, placing a muzzle for the first time on a dog and then introducing a strange dog may create a negative association with the new dog. That’s not setting the scene for a good introduction! It is important to be confidence and calm before even considering an introduction. It is so important, I’ll repeat: If in doubt – DON’T. Seek assistance.

Here’s an example of introducing dogs for the first time.

Turbo is a greyhound I am fostering. Greyhounds in Western Australia need to wear a muzzle by law, unless they undergo a behaviour assessment and are "Green Collar" assessed. Turbo has undergone this assessment and passed, but because I am not his final home, he still needs to wear a muzzle when out with  me in public. I noticed he didn't like to put the muzzle on, so I set myself the task of making him enjoy putting the muzzle on.

It's a great idea to teach dogs to wear new things like muzzles before they ever need to wear one. This helps associate it with being enjoyable, rather than a cue for unpleasant things happening. It's a really handy skill for all dogs to have; even the friendliest dog may bite if they are severely injured and in a lot of pain and discomfort. Knowing how to wear a muzzle before hand makes having to wear one in an emergency no drama at all, where as not having that skill just adds another stressor onto an already unpleasant situation.

I really enjoyed making this video. My objectives were to:

1) encourage guardians to listen to their dogs, even when they speak 'quietly',

2) promote positive reinforcement of desired behaviours rather than using force to get behaviours,

3) demonstrate how mundane training tasks can transform into fun games and quality time for trainer and trainee, and

4) improve human-dog relationships through all of the above.

Please help me spread this message by sharing this blog and video.

To adopt Turbo contact: Greyhounds as Pets

Another milestone has been reached with crate training. Turbo finds company, attention and physical contact more reinforcing than food. In a practical sense this means if I walk out of a room, he will stop eating to come follow me and would rather stay where I am than return to the food.

Well, he used to.

I am teaching him that it's OK for him to be alone and not to follow me abso-jolly-lutely everywhere. In baby steps, with small amounts of time and with the help of the Treat and Train®. I resist petting when he follows and solicits me for attention; this will only reinforce his shadowing behaviour and make him pushy for attention. I am selective and save it for reinforcement of any other desired behaviour, such as when he's resting in his crate or doesn't follow me to another room or doesn't jump. He's such a softy, so it 'aint easy not to cave in and cuddle him whenever he asks, but it's worth it. Some of the benefits include:

1. It will improve his emotional wellbeing i.e. less distress at being alone.

2. It will enhance his confidence.

3. It will subsequently increase his adoptability.

4. It also gives me some space when I need it.

Just as an aside, here’s an example of how caving in to Turbo’s requests for attention and petting may prove detrimental in the long run. When friends come over, Turbo loves to say hello by nudging them and putting his head in their lap. If they oblige him by scratching his ears and rubbing his head, he stays there. If they stop, he nudges again. If they don’t resume, he proceeds to nudge more and may try to hop up onto their lap, because obviously they are not getting the subtle message. If they start laughing, he loves this and snuggles up closer. Once you let him know you are a push over, you have a very large lap dog! Cute? Well, yeh….until he asks at inopportune times and then you have to physically remove him (because he doesn’t know “off” yet) and he keeps trying because, hey, you usually let him do this. However, with me, because I am consistent and avoid giving him a pat when he nudges, he comes up and waits patiently for me to engage. It never gets to the point where he is pushy or tries to become a lap dog. He learns that waiting gets him what he wants with me. One of my favourite catch phrases is, “Our behaviour can change a dogs behaviour”. So the same dog can behave very differently with two individuals.