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How to Ask if Your Dog Really Likes to be Patted

11/12/2015

11 Comments

 
It’s a fact. Not all dogs like to be patted. Those that do don’t always like to be patted on the head. Dogs have preferences as to where and how they like to be touched. They also have preferences of who they like to be touched by. Just because they love a chest scratch from their care giver, doesn’t mean they want the same from a stranger. Even in the same household a dog may enjoy a particular interaction from one member of the family, but not from a different member. The good news is that it’s easy to ask a dog if they like the way they are being touched. It simply requires some knowledge about dog communication and body language.
 
I’ve made a video to demonstrate a simple way to ask your dog how he/she likes to be patted. It’s as simple as starting to pat your dog and then stopping and noting the response.​ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU4TKzBOzw4
Another common theme is that people are sure that their dog likes being hugged. I sometimes ask them to show me - because some dogs don't mind at all. The majority don't actually enjoy the interaction. Once the "no" signals have been discussed, it's amazing how many of these signs are recognized. Before the hug begins, many little dogs are almost chased down and picked up while they are trying to avoid the impending interaction. If you bend down and your little dog moves away, they probably don't like being picked up much, let alone hugged. Many dogs tolerate our hugs but don't actually enjoy them. Some dogs don't mind a hug from their special people, but don't want the same affection from others.

Here’s a quick summary of how dogs say “yes” or “no”. Sometimes they say “maybe”. I suspect they are conflicted at times because they want our attention but don’t like the type of attention they are getting. It’s the classic walk away and then come back and then walk away routine. I've heard many times, "Well if he didn't like it, why does he keep coming back?" Once we change our approach, a “maybe” can soon become a “yes”. Be aware that all dog body language needs to be observed with consideration of the context within which it occurs, the rest of the dog’s body language (not just one part of the dog)  and the individual dog involved. Just like people, different dogs have little idiosyncrasies and styles of communicating.

Body language that says “Yes”:
  • Moving into your space, coming to you for physical contact
  • Nudging a head into your hand or lap
  • Pawing your hand, trying to move it closer
  • Leaning into you
  • Lying down near you, touching you or flopping onto you
  • Face, mouth and eyes are relaxed, even droopy
 
Body language that says “No”:
  • Moving away from you, especially if they don’t return or leave the area - This is so important to take notice of. If a dog does not come to you, do not go to the dog and invade the dog's space, especially if you do not know the dog. Do not put dogs in situations where they cannot move away or escape from a patting interaction you think is pleasant but they don't appreciate
  • Leaning away from you.
  • Turning the head away
  • Looking away from you with the eyes
  • Shying away or ducking the head away from your hand
  • Rolling the eyes away to show the whites of the eye (whale eye)
  • Yawning
  • Licking the lips
  • Freezing (a tense stillness as opposed to a relaxed stillness)
If you miss the more subtle "no", communication may escalate to become more obvious and effective. Dogs who really find patting aversive (i.e. hate it and can't wait to escape) may learn to skip the subtle requests if history has shown that no-one ever listens.
  • Growling
  • Snapping
  • Biting

 Body language that could mean “Yes” or “No”:
  • Licking your face or hands. This can be asking for space or for you to stop. It is a common appeasement signal. Appeasement behaviours function to reduce or get rid of some part of the interaction which they do not like without using overt aggression. It can also be a sign of affection from a very mouthy, licky dog.
  • Rolling over. If the dog is tense, lips are drawn back and tense, this means "no". It is another appeasement behaviour. If the dog is floppy and the eyes are soft or closed, this means “rub mah belly”. Refer to the pictures below.
Picture
Picture
​Appeasement Roll Over:
​
*  Ears pinned back (one forward due to pressure of couch)
*  
Tight mouth, pulled back at commissure
*  
Front paws tucked tight, not relaxed
*  
Quick lick lip
​*  
Back legs rolling partially open but tense
Picture
 Rub Mah Belly Roll Over:
*  Mouth relaxed (floppy gums dropping with gravity, exposing teeth)
*  ​
Front legs floppy and relaxed
*  
Back legs relaxed, flopping wide open with gravity
*  
Skin around eyes soft, not taut
*  
Body relaxed, stretched out fully, lying fully on back

​
  • Paw raised. If the dog is tense and the body is leaning away, it means “no”. If the dog is leaning towards you and body is relaxed, it can be “yes” or "maybe".
  • Walking away. Some dogs will walk away and come back. They may want attention from you, but not the sort you are giving. If you change what you are doing, they may stay.
  • Mouthing the hand. This may mean “no” if it occurs whilst you are petting and stops when you stop. Some dogs show affection by mouthing, so they may gently mouth your hand as you pat them. If it occurs when you stop petting, it could be a mouthy dog requesting for you to continue. In the video, Turbo mouths when the patting stops to get it to start again. He stops mouthing when the person is patting him. When it happens it very important. Does the dog mouth to stop you, or to get you to start again?
  • Being motionless. If the dog is relaxed and motionless they may be enjoying the pat. They may lean ever so slightly into your touch, with all the other signs of enjoyment (soft eyes, ears, mouth). If they have “frozen” and are tense or rigid under your touch, almost resisting relaxation or holding their breath, they are probably not enjoying the patting and are waiting for it to stop. You can often feel a pounding heart under the chest of a dog who is very still but not enjoying the contact.
  • Lots of wiggling. Some dogs are happy, wiggly, bouncy balls of exuberance who can’t stop moving when they are enjoying an activity. Others are nervous, uncomfortable wigglers who are torn between wanting some attention from you but not liking where or how they are being touched.
 
I'm encouraged by the comments I’ve read on social media. Many people notice a difference in the way their dog approaches, stays and responds to them when they take the time to observe, ask the dog and accommodate what he/she enjoys.
 
Have a try. Ask your dog and let me know the answer.
 
Want to practice more observations skills? Read this other great blog and video on the same topic:
 
http://eileenanddogs.com/2012/08/29/does-your-dog-really-want-to-be-petted/

Here are some great resources which Eileenanddogs.com recommends in her blog. She is spot on with her recommendations, so with her permission, I've included them just as she has recommended. You can never get enough of the good stuff.​ Go check out her blog.

Recommended Resources:

"Doggonesafe.com: How to Love Your Dog –  Believe it or Not. This little gem describes ways to ask the dog’s consent, encourages getting to know one’s dog’s language, and suggests ways that humans and dogs can be physically close to each other without intimidating or “over-touching” the dog. The whole website has great stuff about learning to read dogs and keeping kids safe around them.

Dogs Like Kids They Feel Safe With. This is a wonderful movie about teaching dogs with a clicker and teaching children with TAGteach with the goal of comfortable and safe interaction between the two. Children who are fearful and and children who tend to overdo with animals are both included. The children are taught about asking the adult handler’s and the dog’s consent.

Dr. Sophia Yin has a wealth of information on dog body language, polite greeting behavior (from humans), and low stress handling. Here is a page with a load of information. Free Downloads: Posters, Handouts, and More.

Family Paws is another great site that focuses on safe interactions between dogs and their human family members, with special emphasis on education for expecting families and families with infants. Here is founder Jennifer Shryock doing a great analysis of a now infamous human/dog petting session gone wrong, with nice explanations of the mismatch between dog and human communication and expectations.

Observation Skills for Training Dogs. That great FaceBook group I have mentioned before."

© Sonya Bevan
Dogcharming.com.au

Thank you to Eileen Anderson for sharing her blog and resource recommendations, Steph Walker for her pictures of Reggie and Bodel Mitchell for sharing Zoe with me.
11 Comments

6 Easy Ways to Combine Training with Playing with Your Dog

5/12/2015

8 Comments

 
In my view, training and playing with my dog are synonymous. Training should be fun for both participants. The most mundane of tasks can be made into a “training game” with a little bit of creativity. Playing with my dog can also morph into a covert training session that she is ecstatic to participate in.
 
Whenever I play, I try to have guidelines that my dog needs to follow. It’s not as regimented as it may sound. How many games do we play that have rules that need to be followed that enhance the fun? Even the most basic of games have some guidelines: count to ten before chasing, then when you’re tagged, you’re it!
 
When I think about it, even spontaneous rough and tumble with my dog has certain guidelines such as “bite me very softly, not hard” or “dodge me, don’t slam into my legs” to keep it fun. The play spontaneously stops if these rules are broken because I’m no longer having fun!
 
Some of the guidelines I apply when playing fetch or tug with my dog are:
 
1.  "Wait" patiently for the game to begin - don’t help yourself to the toy from my hand
2.  "Sit” to ask to start the game – I like this to be automatic, not asked for by me every time
3.  
Game starts when you hear “OK” or “Tug”
4. “Give” the toy into my hand, don’t drop it at my feet or 2 metres away
5. “Find” a dropped object
6. “Leave” a toy, no matter how enticing. At a more advanced level, leave it even if you are chasing it

I have no problem with playing tug with a dog. If you teach a dog the rules, there is no problem with aggression or over-arousal. I don't understand the advice to never let the dog win either. It's a win-win game when you play with your dog. When you say "give", the dog gives and then the game starts again when you say the word. It's darn fun!
Picture
All of these rules are actually useful tasks for a dog in everyday life. There is the added benefit that training during play builds impulse control during high arousal. This is something a lot of care-giver’s lament: “He sits so nicely usually. Then someone comes to the door and he gets excited, won’t sit and jumps all over them!”  Or, “He comes every time at home, but he won’t come back in the park with other dogs, he’s just so excited.”
 
Teaching my dog to sit before a toy is thrown, even though excited, is not dissimilar to sitting even though excited when a visitor comes. If my dog can be called away (“leave”) from chasing a favourite toy, there is a much better chance that this will transfer more easily to coming away from playing with another dog. Play is an opportunity to sneak in practice of all the tasks my dog already knows to a certain level, using a reinforcer she is crazy about (the toy, activity or me!) and honing behaviours even when she is excited.
 
Another benefit of training during play is the “two for the price of one” effect: physical exercise and mental stimulation in the one activity. Talk about a bargain!
 
Just when you thought I’d milked the virtues of combining play and training for all it’s worth, there’s one more advantage. If non-aversive techniques are used (i.e. the dog is not trying to avoid or escape something annoying), the relationship with my dog is enhanced because we are engaging in a mutually enjoyable activity. We are building a history of positive associations and consequences. It all adds up. It carries over into everyday life. It’s wonderful.
 
Watch Scout and I in action, getting some really great behaviours, impulse control and having fun. Watch for the surprise visitor at the end.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8B9Bch8WK0
8 Comments

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    Sonya Bevan is an avid dog lover with a Bachelor of Science degree in physiotherapy. This combination lead to seeking science based information on how to teach dogs and she commenced further study to complete a Diploma of Canine Behaviour Science and Technology. Dog training is both a science and an art. When based on solid principles of behavioural science,  teaching also allows creativity when applied to each unique dog. Most of all, it should be fun for both participants and a way to bond with these special animals we love so much.

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