It’s a fact. Not all dogs like to be patted. Those that do don’t always like to be patted on the head. Dogs have preferences as to where and how they like to be touched. They also have preferences of who they like to be touched by. Just because they love a chest scratch from their care giver, doesn’t mean they want the same from a stranger. Even in the same household a dog may enjoy a particular interaction from one member of the family, but not from a different member. The good news is that it’s easy to ask a dog if they like the way they are being touched. It simply requires some knowledge about dog communication and body language.
 
I’ve made a video to demonstrate a simple way to ask your dog how he/she likes to be patted. It’s as simple as starting to pat your dog and then stopping and noting the response.​ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU4TKzBOzw4

Another common theme is that people are sure that their dog likes being hugged. I sometimes ask them to show me - because some dogs don't mind at all. The majority don't actually enjoy the interaction. Once the "no" signals have been discussed, it's amazing how many of these signs are recognized. Before the hug begins, many little dogs are almost chased down and picked up while they are trying to avoid the impending interaction. If you bend down and your little dog moves away, they probably don't like being picked up much, let alone hugged. Many dogs tolerate our hugs but don't actually enjoy them. Some dogs don't mind a hug from their special people, but don't want the same affection from others.

Here’s a quick summary of how dogs say “yes” or “no”. Sometimes they say “maybe”. I suspect they are conflicted at times because they want our attention but don’t like the type of attention they are getting. It’s the classic walk away and then come back and then walk away routine. I've heard many times, "Well if he didn't like it, why does he keep coming back?" Once we change our approach, a “maybe” can soon become a “yes”. Be aware that all dog body language needs to be observed with consideration of the context within which it occurs, the rest of the dog’s body language (not just one part of the dog)  and the individual dog involved. Just like people, different dogs have little idiosyncrasies and styles of communicating.

Body language that says “Yes”:

• Moving into your space, coming to you for physical contact
• Nudging a head into your hand or lap
• Pawing your hand, trying to move it closer
• Leaning into you
• Lying down near you, touching you or flopping onto you
• Face, mouth and eyes are relaxed, even droopy

 
Body language that says “No”:

• Moving away from you, especially if they don’t return or leave the area - This is so important to take notice of. If a dog does not come to you, do not go to the dog and invade the dog's space, especially if you do not know the dog. Do not put dogs in situations where they cannot move away or escape from a patting interaction you think is pleasant but they don't appreciate
• Leaning away from you.
• Turning the head away
• Looking away from you with the eyes
• Shying away or ducking the head away from your hand
• Rolling the eyes away to show the whites of the eye (whale eye)
• Yawning
• Licking the lips
• Freezing (a tense stillness as opposed to a relaxed stillness)

If you miss the more subtle "no", communication may escalate to become more obvious and effective. Dogs who really find patting aversive (i.e. hate it and can't wait to escape) may learn to skip the subtle requests if history has shown that no-one ever listens.

• Growling
• Snapping
• Biting

 Body language that could mean “Yes” or “No”:

• Licking your face or hands. This can be asking for space or for you to stop. It is a common appeasement signal. Appeasement behaviours function to reduce or get rid of some part of the interaction which they do not like without using overt aggression. It can also be a sign of affection from a very mouthy, licky dog.
• Rolling over. If the dog is tense, lips are drawn back and tense, this means "no". It is another appeasement behaviour. If the dog is floppy and the eyes are soft or closed, this means “rub mah belly”. Refer to the pictures below.

 Rub Mah Belly Roll Over:
*  Mouth relaxed (floppy gums dropping with gravity, exposing teeth)
*  ​Front legs floppy and relaxed
*  Back legs relaxed, flopping wide open with gravity
*  Skin around eyes soft, not taut
*  Body relaxed, stretched out fully, lying fully on back
​

• Paw raised. If the dog is tense and the body is leaning away, it means “no”. If the dog is leaning towards you and body is relaxed, it can be “yes” or "maybe".
• Walking away. Some dogs will walk away and come back. They may want attention from you, but not the sort you are giving. If you change what you are doing, they may stay.
• Mouthing the hand. This may mean “no” if it occurs whilst you are petting and stops when you stop. Some dogs show affection by mouthing, so they may gently mouth your hand as you pat them. If it occurs when you stop petting, it could be a mouthy dog requesting for you to continue. In the video, Turbo mouths when the patting stops to get it to start again. He stops mouthing when the person is patting him. When it happens it very important. Does the dog mouth to stop you, or to get you to start again?
• Being motionless. If the dog is relaxed and motionless they may be enjoying the pat. They may lean ever so slightly into your touch, with all the other signs of enjoyment (soft eyes, ears, mouth). If they have “frozen” and are tense or rigid under your touch, almost resisting relaxation or holding their breath, they are probably not enjoying the patting and are waiting for it to stop. You can often feel a pounding heart under the chest of a dog who is very still but not enjoying the contact.
• Lots of wiggling. Some dogs are happy, wiggly, bouncy balls of exuberance who can’t stop moving when they are enjoying an activity. Others are nervous, uncomfortable wigglers who are torn between wanting some attention from you but not liking where or how they are being touched.

 
I'm encouraged by the comments I’ve read on social media. Many people notice a difference in the way their dog approaches, stays and responds to them when they take the time to observe, ask the dog and accommodate what he/she enjoys.
 
Have a try. Ask your dog and let me know the answer.
 
Want to practice more observations skills? Read this other great blog and video on the same topic:
 
http://eileenanddogs.com/2012/08/29/does-your-dog-really-want-to-be-petted/

Here are some great resources which Eileenanddogs.com recommends in her blog. She is spot on with her recommendations, so with her permission, I've included them just as she has recommended. You can never get enough of the good stuff.​ Go check out her blog.

Recommended Resources:

"Doggonesafe.com: How to Love Your Dog –  Believe it or Not. This little gem describes ways to ask the dog’s consent, encourages getting to know one’s dog’s language, and suggests ways that humans and dogs can be physically close to each other without intimidating or “over-touching” the dog. The whole website has great stuff about learning to read dogs and keeping kids safe around them.

Dogs Like Kids They Feel Safe With. This is a wonderful movie about teaching dogs with a clicker and teaching children with TAGteach with the goal of comfortable and safe interaction between the two. Children who are fearful and and children who tend to overdo with animals are both included. The children are taught about asking the adult handler’s and the dog’s consent.

Dr. Sophia Yin has a wealth of information on dog body language, polite greeting behavior (from humans), and low stress handling. Here is a page with a load of information. Free Downloads: Posters, Handouts, and More.

Family Paws is another great site that focuses on safe interactions between dogs and their human family members, with special emphasis on education for expecting families and families with infants. Here is founder Jennifer Shryock doing a great analysis of a now infamous human/dog petting session gone wrong, with nice explanations of the mismatch between dog and human communication and expectations.

Observation Skills for Training Dogs. That great FaceBook group I have mentioned before."

© Sonya Bevan
Dogcharming.com.au

Thank you to Eileen Anderson for sharing her blog and resource recommendations, Steph Walker for her pictures of Reggie and Bodel Mitchell for sharing Zoe with me.

Turbo the greyhound came to stay as a foster dog. One of the first tasks was to introduce him to Zuri. As far as introductions go, dogs are a lot like people. They each have individual communication styles and personal preferences about which dogs they wish to spend time with and those they’d rather pass on by.

First impressions can have long lasting effects, so taking the time to plan the first meeting is a high priority. If an initial meeting goes badly it can take a lot of effort to reverse the detrimental psychological effects, let alone repair any physical injuries.

Here are some suggested guidelines:

1. Have one handler per dog.
2. Meet in a neutral environment first, not one of the dog’s homes.
3. Choose larger areas, not confined spaces.
4. Allow ample time, don’t rush or force introductions. Let the dogs got at their own pace and allow an avenue of escape or retreat.
5. Let each dog investigate the environment first for an extended period, away from each other, before bringing them into contact.
6. Introduce relaxed dogs, not highly aroused dogs.
7. Use loose leads rather than tight unless required for safety and to remove dogs from each other.
8. Intervene only if required and distract quickly if needed.
9. If in doubt: DON’T introduce. If you have no idea how either dog will react but fear one may bite or attack, don’t introduce them or seek professional assistance. If you really don’t think they will get on, ask yourself, “Why am I introducing them in the first place?”

Please note that the guidelines suggested are exactly that: guide-lines. With more experience and a history of the two dogs, one has a better chance of predicting if two dogs will be fine to greet on their first meeting. If there is any doubt, however, you will need some sort of backup plan such as leads to allow safe separation of the dogs should things go pear-shaped. Ideally, seek the help of a behaviour professional if you are unsure or nervous.

Avoid advice which refers to dogs as having dominant personalities to explain behaviour and encourages using aversive stimuli/punishment to introduce dogs (eg. choker collars, shock collars, leash jerks, yelling). Dominance is not a personality trait and has no practical application when dealing with introducing dogs safely. Furthermore, most aggression in dogs is driven by a desire to escape (which is prevented when on lead) or a desire to remove a source of fear by scaring it away. Having on-lead meetings with short, tense leads and anxious handlers tugging and yelling can actually create conflict that might not have otherwise occurred. I only recommend muzzles if the dog wearing the muzzle is already accustomed to and happy to wear one. If not, placing a muzzle for the first time on a dog and then introducing a strange dog may create a negative association with the new dog. That’s not setting the scene for a good introduction! It is important to be confidence and calm before even considering an introduction. It is so important, I’ll repeat: If in doubt – DON’T. Seek assistance.

Here’s an example of introducing dogs for the first time.

I'm teaching Zuri to feel comfortable wearing a muzzle.  If there is an emergency and she is in pain or under great stress, it may be a wise choice. If she is already under duress, the last thing I want to do is suddenly shove a plastic grill she's never seen before onto her face. This will only increase her stress levels.

Everything was going really well until I changed the location of the training as well as her position from lying to standing. She indicated that she wasn't doing so well in this new scenario.

It's my responsibility as teacher to listen to her and modify the plan if she is having trouble with it. Training should be fun for both of us. If the fun-factor disappears, I need to get it back as quickly as possible. If I don't, at best, reaching my teaching goals will be slow, inefficient and devoid of enthusiasm on the part of  my pupil. At worst, Zuri may develop a dislike of the particular training task leading to avoidance or escape and even fear of the muzzle when it is presented.

So what did I do? I stopped trying to make her move whilst wearing the muzzle. All she had to do was stand for a few seconds with it on and I fed her. Back to how we began on the bed. I then kept it on for longer and longer before I asked her to move. When I did ask for movement, I chose a task she knew really well and enjoyed: Touch. She didn't have to move her body, just her head so her nose touched the palm of my hand. Very quickly this transitioned to her being able to move a step to touch and then follow me a few steps to touch without showing signs of discomfort. Soon she was spinning when asked and even of her own accord!

And now for my unfortunate analogy: https://youtu.be/Vp85lVTgTFo

If you would like to see a video tutorial of how I started teaching Zuri to enjoy wearing a muzzle, let me know in the comments section.

I really appreciate my dog. Her funny wee behaviours have challenged my preconceived ideas of how a dog might see the world. I wanted to share my ponderings on what often happens on our walks together.

We go for walks in our neighbourhood and I often take her lead off in the quiet areas. Being the dog trainer I am, it has become natural for me to combine teaching with just about anything we do together. Walks are no exception. I have a treat pouch pretty much growing out of my hip. Which is not such a bad thing because many times I never use it. That fact alone has meant it hasn’t become the motivator for getting behaviour. Just because I’m wearing a treat pouch doesn’t mean what we are doing is any more special or urgent than when I am not wearing one. It’s not even a guarantee of treats. It means I don’t have a dog who goes nuts every time they see the treat pouch going on. Zuri doesn’t go into “train me” mode at the sight of a treat pouch. It’s a neat thing.

So, our walks are usually meandering investigations of the streets, parks and beaches of our local area with little requests of certain behaviours thrown in from me. One of my favourites is the “wait” at every roadside curb. It started with planned training and has now progressed to a point where I don’t ask her to “wait”, she does it automatically without clicker or food reinforcement. The continuing walk has become the reinforcement. Here’s how we started.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4qgQabhYKs

I let her know it’s time to cross by saying “OK”. I like to fool around and mix it up a bit by waiting different lengths of time before saying “OK”. I say random words like “red”, “blue”, or numbers just so she doesn’t cross at the first word I say or at the sound of my voice. I sometimes stop and say “OK”, I sometimes keep walking and say it. Sometimes I face her, sometimes my back is to her. It keeps me thinking creatively and it teaches her a really, really solid “wait” no matter what until she hears that one word.

Then something unusual began happening on our walks. She would wait at the roadside while I crossed but when I said “OK”, she wouldn’t cross. She just stood there looking at me. It even happened when I called her into a park. She loves zoomies in the park. What on earth was going on? I tried to prompt her, made it look really exciting. Nothing.

Now this is where perception – that is, how we view our dog’s behaviour – can have a huge impact on our behaviour and our relationship with our dog.

I don’t know what’s going on in Zuri’s head. I can only see her behaviour and make assumptions on what may or may not be going on inside. There are many ways I could view this behaviour of not coming across the road when I say “OK”. Here’s a few (you could probably come up with others);

*    She’s being wilfully disobedient. She knows what I want and is deliberately disobeying me. If I believe this, what do you think my subsequent behaviour will be? I would probably give her a few more chances to come, then go back and put her lead on and force her to come across the road.

*    She’s asserting her dominance and testing me to see if she can rank higher. Well, she’s not going to get away with that! If I thought that, I’d probably force her to do what I asked.

*    She doesn’t want to go to the park. She wants to walk somewhere different today. I guess I can choose whether what she wants trumps what I want and behave accordingly.

*    She’s being cheeky. She is getting a bit a giggle out of seeing how long she can just stare at me before I come back. I guess I could chuckle along with her or get a bit annoyed.

What I think is going on in her head really could be what is going on in my head, not necessarily what is going on in hers. It can change the way I feel about her, whether I feel closer to her or annoyed. It’s actually not very helpful to try and get too far into a dog’s thoughts.

This behaviour made me curious. What would she do if I walked back over to her and walked in a different direction. So I did it. She trotted happily along when I started moving in the direction she had previously looked a few times. I tried crossing the road again to the park and she wouldn't come. When I returned to her, she was happy to continue along the footpath.

Most times, she comes. Sometimes she doesn't. When I go back to her she is happy to go another way. Could it be that dogs have likes and dislikes? Could they have preferences on different days as to whether they’d like a zoomie in the park or a sniff of the side-walk? Could all the training she has been given have opened up a way to have a dialogue with me that I might understand, so that she can convey these preferences at certain times? (Yes, it sounds like I'm getting into her head, but stick with me here).

Interestingly, she is off lead, so if she wanted to go a different way, she could just….well….go. She doesn't have a history of punishment for running off, so there’s nothing to be scared of if she just blew me off and walked where ever she wanted. The worst that would happen is that I’d follow and put the lead on – well, I guess technically that is punishing! She looks at me, waits for me and then follows when I step off in a certain direction. Now you can have a bit of insight into my head, because I feel she is communicating with me. I think she is letting me know what is reinforcing for her on particular walks.

The other interesting thing is that if I don’t back down, she will come where I have indicated without any force required.

Here’s what one of our recent walks looked like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK2cKI3zVyc

What I do know is that I appreciate this behaviour very much. I appreciate that she doesn’t run away without me if she doesn’t want to follow. I appreciate that she will seem to put in her veto of the direction I am travelling, yet still acquiese to my desire in the end if I persist. I only need to persist gently. I don’t have to drag her or get angry. She simply responds to my voice. I appreciate that this behaviour reminds me that we’re on this walk mainly for her, not just for me to drag her around where ever I want.

Back to perception. I feel closer to her, I appreciate her and I even feel that she likes my company because of the way I perceive this behaviour as communication rather than disobedience. I enjoy trying to figure out what she is attempting to convey. If I felt she was being stubborn or status seeking, I wouldn’t have such feelings. I might even feel annoyed and a sense of disliking her on these occasions. I may feel the need to compete with her for leadership rather than the sense of being a partnership.

It may seem like I’m contradicting myself by saying don’t try and get into a dog’s head and then I seem to get into my own dog’s head by talking about her preferences on walks. If it causes no harm and has the potential to enhance the human-dog bond, I’m not as pendantic as those instances where the dog may suffer as a result. If the dog suffers, the relationship usually suffers.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s walk. I wonder where Zuri would like us to go.

Dogs possess a wide range of subtle communication signals.  Humans are very verbal, whilst dogs rely more on body language.  Herein lies the problem.  Most dog body language is not intuitive to humans.  It has to be learnt.  Much of what dogs are saying is commonly misinterpreted by humans.  This can lead to problems.  

For instance, a wagging tail does not always mean “I’m happy”.  Many an incredulous person has exclaimed, “But he was wagging his tail”, after being bitten.

Rolling over to expose the belly doesn’t always mean “rub my belly”.  It can be a sign of uncertainty and appeasement by a dog.  It is important to be aware of the context surrounding any dog communication. It is also important to look at the whole dog, not just one body part. 

Many of the subtle signals a dog gives are a plea for more space or an escape from a situation.  If these subtle signs are ignored, especially if escape is limited, the dog has to ramp up the communication to make it more obvious.

To humans, a growl, snap or bite comes out of nowhere.  After learning and observing dog body language, the precursor signals now become like a flashing neon sign, alerting of the dog’s distress. By heeding these silent indications, the need for the dog to escalate the form of communication can easily be prevented.

In future articles, I’ll explain the different ways dogs quietly tell us they are under stress and why it's so important to learn the wonderful language of dogs.